September’s Close
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February 27, 2006, 5:04 pm
Filed under: Poems
Filed under: Poems
I’m a pretty avid writer. I enjoy doing creative essay pieces and things but the assignments at school are few and far between. Plus I have an immense disability in getting myself to write during my spare time. Our assignment this term was to write a poem without any restrictions. I’ve never written a poem in my life so this is my first one. Enjoy.
Awake
In the shelter of silence
And the comfort of dark;
An unfamiliar room.
Soothing sheets draped across
In caring compassion.
Rain-soaked cheeks reflect
In tear-stained windows.
Her hands
Woven shut in sweet tender.
Her eyes
Soft in their embrace.
Awake
In the shelter of silence
And the comfort of dark;
Moments mine to hold but never own.
7 Comments so far
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Is this the same one you got 100% for at school?
Comment by James March 10, 2006 @ 10:01 pmYep. Got the 100% mark back today. Was very surprised.
Comment by Lettuce March 10, 2006 @ 10:13 pmOh Gareth, oh Gareth…… you are so whacky…. yeah just like me!! Love whacky people that is why I love myself……. Great website – I also want one?? Visit soon, I have something interesting to tell you….
Comment by The Whack!! March 29, 2006 @ 10:54 pmThis was a first poem? Really good. Very musical. I liked the phrase “Shelter of Silence”.
Comment by Rambling Librarian April 28, 2006 @ 7:03 pmHi!
Wow, that was a comment I was no expecting. Very interesting idea, I’ve never tried that. I’ll definetely keep it in mind for when I write a poem I actually want to do something with. You see, I write a lot. I HATE writing school assignments. Okay, actually only if they are limited in time. But anyway, I love writing. Any, and I mean ANY, picture that floats into my head, any phrase that I like gets written down and incorporated into a poem or story. Never mind that I only write first chapters of my stories and never get any further …
Okay, that was a nice little ramble. I LOVE the advice, I live off comments on my writing that help me improve. But this peom is, in essence, nothing more than a doodle so I’m not going to spend too much time re-writing it. But I know, I know. Structure and rhythm are my weakest points and I know I should try and make EVERY piece worth while.
Comment by Laura July 4, 2006 @ 8:13 amOkay, this comment is not a selfish as the previous one. I realsised that I had not commented on your wonderful poem.
Well, first things first. If you don’t continue writing and posting I’ll throw a hatchet at you.
Secondly. Hmmmm … let me think about it. I love the imagery you used. The windows are really nice. The atmosphere is good. I can’t really find anything wrong with it. The hands woven shut in sweet tender … sweet tender WHAT!!!!
Yip, that’s the only thing that annoyed me. THe rest was brilliant. And believe me, it’s not easy to get a compliment to spring forth from my lips … or in this case, my keyboard.
Comment by Laura July 4, 2006 @ 8:21 ambeautiful.
Comment by Tatiana September 26, 2009 @ 5:31 pm